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| Child Abuse (child abuse comes in many forms) There are so many compassionate people out there but somewhere between struggling to take our first step and becoming an adult, a lot of people have lost their ways. They forget the reason why they wanted kids in the first place. I'm sure no one bring a child into this world just so they can beat the crap out of it but when your child acts up, you lose your F-ing mind  .Check this out -> (New Mexico mom gets 25 years for starving daughter) Beating and yelling are not the only ways to teach unless you have other intentions. You can't tell me that spanking, beating, or yelling are the only ways to teach. Keep a baby picture of your child in your purse or wallet. Even if you child is now 15, keep both versions on you at all times. When you look at their baby picture, it will remind you of how innocent they used to be. Take a picture of them sleeping really helps put things into perspective. It shows how vulnerable they really are. You as their protector should be protecting and not become the predator that you are suppose to protect them from. Even the most evil adults used to be pure and innocent. Parents and society F them all up. If you have ever been bullied when you were a kid or even as an adult by someone either physically or mentally superior than you, you will have an idea of I'm talking about. Please Just Stop. I'M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE... If you live within about 100 miles from Sacramento, California, look me up and I'll give you a hand. I will talk to you and your kid in person. It will cost you nothing. All I ask is for you to give me, your kid, and yourself a chance. It's a small step towards my ultimate goal but it has to start somewhere. I can't promise you that I can fix your problems but I can promise you that I'll give it my best shot. Even if you live thousands of miles away, I can still offer you my advice over the phone. Even animals don't beat their own offsprings. Have you ever seen a bear smacking its cubs upside the head? And we are suppose to be the smartest species on this planet? Then start acting like it. The next time you beat your child, film yourself doing it and then watch it over and over again. If that doesn't bring tears to your eyes, then you are a shell without soul. Any compassionate loving people would be balling or at least have a big ass lump in their throat. As a parent, you are mentally and physically more superior than you child. Any decent adult will admit that bullies are terrible people. By beating your own child, you are also an F-ing bully yourself. I know it is extremely frustrating when they act up. It seems like there is no way to get them to listen without a good spanking. Imagine you were spanked or beat your whole life every time you misbehaved as an adult. Do you really think that is a good way to teach? To teach a child, they first have to respect you. Peace cannot be kept by force, only through understanding. Instead of a beating session, try sitting them down and turn it into teaching session instead. Explain to them why they should listen. Stop yourself from saying things like "because I said so" is a great start. You are teaching them nothing by saying things like that. Tell them that you are much starter than they are and you are their protector. Here's a real example on how to get them to understand why they need to listen to you. I actually used this on a 10 year old kid and it worked like a charm. Let's just say your child is now 10 years old. Ask them these questions and do it in a very calm and non threaten way. The last thing you want is for them to fear you. Use a very soft and loving voice. Do you remember when you were 5 years old? They will say yes. Do you remember doing a lot of dumb things when you were 5? They will say yes. Do you think you have learned a lot and are much smarter now? They will say yes. You sure did learned a lot in the last 5 years my dear and I'm so proud of you (don't forget to praise them). Now, let me tell you this. I am 40 years old. I have been around 30 more years than you have and have learned a lot of things so I'm much smarter than you. I know what is good and what is bad for you. I want to protect you from harm. I want to make you a smarter person so you can have a very wonderful life. Would you want a dumb 5 year old protecting you or do you want a smart 40 year old protecting you? They will say they you want to protect them. Right there you got them right where you want them .
The teaching and coaching can now begin my friend .
This technique makes them convince themselves that they should listen
to you. They acknowledge that wisdom does come with age. When they become
an adult, you can tell them that wisdom doesn't "always" come
with age .
I use this type of technique quite a bit to teach because it works. Every
question I ask is like putting up detour signs so I can get them to where
I want them. This technique works on adults too. A child is like pottery
clay. There is only a small window of time to work with them. Once the
clay hardens, you can't shape it anymore. You can also use this analogy
on your kid to get them to understand how important it is for them to
listen to you while they are still young. A huge problem I see is that
a lot of people don't learn the skill set required to raise a child properly
before having a child. They usually learn it after they give birth and
a lot of people never bother to learn or no longer have the time. They
will say, "oh well, you live and learn". NO, learn first so
you know what to do once you give birth. Don't do it ass backwards. By
the time you figure it out, it's already too late. The clay has already
harden.Time is your friend and your worst enemy. Use it wisely to think and learn and it'll become your friend. Use it like you have an endless supply and it'll become your enemy. Your children will pay the ultimate price. If you work super long hours just to make a few extra buck, your kids are going to pay dearly in the long run. Kids need their parents to be there as they are growing up. If you are at work for most of their childhood, who do you think are raising your kids? The TV and internet become their parents. Once the damage has been done, it is nearly impossible to undo it. I see so many parents who have over extended themselves by working too much so they can have nice things. Kids don't give a damn how nice your purse is or how cool your 22 inch rims look. Kids are so simple. They want food, water, and someone to play with. A kid's mind is so pure and simple. I remember back in the 80's. The kids back then didn't have any fancy toys or the internet. We were happy. Damn happy actually. Greed motive smart people to invent new toys and now nobody is happy. The kids these days are just fatter but not happier. It's your job as a parent to change their perception of happiness but you have to do it when they are at a very young age. Same with food. If you want your child to eat healthy foods, you need to feed them healthy foods as soon as they can eat solid food. I have seen a lot of weak parents who gave in when their child refuses to eat. A human being will eat anything when they are hungry. Man up and let them starve a little. Not to a point where it will hurt them. Just hungry enough to want to eat Anything. You can't give in. Once you give in, they got you figured out. Kids are a lot smarter than you think. Be firm but not cruel. You need to be consistent also. If my parents didn't feed me certain foods when I was little, I wouldn't eat half the healthy foods I eat today. It's how you prepare the food too. Feeding your child unhealthy foods and getting them hooked on it is also child abuse. You won't listen to anyone's advise because you have too much pride. If the family you love so much is falling apart, ask yourself this. How is that foolish pride thing working out for ya? Pride gives you the balls to stand up for yourself but foolish pride will destroy your family. You might think you are a supermom or a superdad but eventually you will all collapse under your own weight because you've taken on way too much. Just being called a "supermom" or "superdad" is a huge clue that you are over extended. Super parents either work too many hours, have too many cars, too many pets, too many kids, too many email accounts, too many people you call friends but aren't true friends, too many hobbies, too many hours wasted watching sports you don't even play, obsessed with celebrities who can care less about you. You think they give a damn what dress you are wearing to your kid's graduation? You think they give a damn if you and your kids are starving because you have wasted your life away doing senseless crap? People who devote their time into senseless crap when they have mouths to feed are "walking encyclopedias of useless crap" .
How is any of that useless crap going to help you in real life? When the
bill collector calls, can you pay your bill by telling them what dress
J-Lo wore at the grammys? Your supermoms and dads will say or have been
saying "I got this. I know what I'm doing." I'm sorry, all of you
"ain't got this". Even robots break down if you running it too hard. Your
children need you to hold it together. Both physically and mentally.Over spoiling your child is also a form of child abuse. Spoiled kids will grow up to be unhappy and miserable adults because they are so used to getting things their way. You are training them to live in fairy tale land. That is not reality. There is no free lunch in this world. You either spoil them because you love them so much or you spoil them because you want them to love you so you give them anything they want. If you really want to spoil them, raise them well and you'll both come out ahead. I am a victim of two abusive parents. I received physical and mental abuse. Oh they laid it on me good boy. They love to lean into it just for good measure. I'm very glad I made it out okay. The physical scares have all faded away but I still live with the mental scares. You will F your child up for the rest of their live. What human being can do that to another human being? Never forget who pure and innocent they were when you first brought them into this world. The love and joy they brought YOU. You took it upon yourself to bring them here so they can make you happy. They have turned against you because you didn't take the time to think and learn prior to having them. You wouldn't run a business without taking some business classes first would you? The bank sure ain't going to give you a business loan if you don't have a solid business plan. If you are an abusive parent, I don't hate you. I really don't. I understand that you are a victim of your environment like so many of us are. Here is your chance to get it right. Here is your chance to show your child you really really love them and not just say the words. I get so disgusted with the words "I love you" sometimes. When most people say it, it's just lip service. Your child needs your action more than they need your words. Words are important too but you can't send in a recording of you saying "I love you" to your mortgage company can you? They will laugh their asses off. Being wasteful and not recycle everything you can is another form of child abuse. I see you at the supermarket with your kids buying all those one time use products. I don't have kids and don't plan on having any but I recycle more than most parents. That makes no sense. Is it really that hard to recycle? Have two bins at home. One for recyclables and one for regular trash. Don't be such a lazy ass and do a little bit of extra work to preserve our natural resources so your kids can have a decent planet to call home. |
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